You’ve told all your friends about this one, you’ve pleaded your case in hopes to persuade them this time, he/she is the right one. You’ve highlighted all their qualities in hopes of making others believe and accept that this time, it’s the one.
So it happened… again. After continuously dealing with all the wrong ones, kissing so many frogs, giving yourself and love away to the wrong one, you finally thought you had it right this time. This time… you even prayed about it and even thought you got your confirmation from God…
But it turns out.. you were wrong…again.
If you’re anything like me, you’re left feeling embarrassed and ashamed. Embarrassed for telling all your close friends and loved ones about another person who you thought was yours. Who you thought had the capacity and ability to love you correctly forever.
If you’re anything like me, you feel embarrassed for telling them about yet another person only for it to not work out yet again. You feel like you’ve told others a relentless amount of times about someone who you found and adored. And now…. do they even take you seriously anymore when you talk about someone?
After all, they’ve heard it so many times.
Are they secretly rolling their eyes at me? Saying “yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Or you’re condemning yourself with questions like:
What is wrong with me?Why does this always happen to me?What if I never find someone?Am I incapable of receiving a lasting love?What if I’m meant to be alone?What am I doing wrong?
I know how painful, embarrassing, and discouraging it is when we find ourselves meeting someone new and thinking this time, this is it. Only to find ourselves months, weeks, or days in the same boat, let down and alone.
One thing I have had to learn is, my worth and value does not rely in whether a relationship failed or prospered.
Just because someone doesn’t love me the way I wanted or of the same depth the way I loved them, doesn’t mean something is wrong with me.
Do not feel embarrassed for loving the wrong one. If someone left your love on the side of the road, that is not something you did—they left it.
Despite if you saw the red flags and still took a chance, despite if many loved ones told you to walk away—and you loved anyways, despite if you loved someone and they didn’t love you back the same way, or despite if you loved hard and that person took advantage of your love by not reciprocating it back—don’t ever feel ashamed for loving.
Loving someone is the purest and greatest gift of life. To love genuinely is the most beautiful gift you can offer someone freely. You should never feel ashamed about the love you have to offer and did offer to a person.
Even though that person may didn’t appreciate your love the way you deserved, that has nothing to do with you. When you love, you’re taking the biggest leap of faith. It is a honor to give someone love. Love is the closest thing to God.
If someone doesn’t fully reciprocate or appreciate your love when you know you’ve given your all and your best—that has nothing to do with you. That is their own loss for missing out on the purity of love. Love heals, love soothes, love mends. They passed that up, that is their own loss. When someone takes advantage of another persons love, that is their own disservice to themselves for passing up the greatest gift—love.
After repetitive heartbreak, after awhile, we feel our only option is to become guarded and resilient to ensure we don’t get hurt or disappointed again. We think we must become hard and withhold love.
That is not the answer.
I will say, with heartbreak, yes, you should examine what happened and strategize on what you can do differently next time you find love. But withholding love is not the answer. Who you give your love to though is an option.
Not everyone deserves your love and vulnerability. Some people are internally broken and have no knowledge on how to love properly or even a desire to love someone properly. Beware of these type of people. You can’t make someone love you correctly that doesn’t know how or want to learn how.
You indeed should be conscious on who you give your love to in order to save yourself from future destruction. You can learn from your heartbreak, but that doesn’t mean you have to become hardened, cold-hearted, and closed off from every man or woman.
Should you take precaution? Absolutely.
If you know you’re someone that loves hard like myself, understand that is a beautiful gift but not everyone deserves that. Not everyone deserves your access, your love, or access to your love. Why? Because not everyone knows what to do with it so they end up mishandling your love. Take people’s actions for what they are. Take precaution before you openly and eagerly give yourself to someone. Take the time to get to know if that person deserves the love you have to offer. Take time to analyze the things that you could have done differently in your last relationship, take that wisdom into your next relationship.
So what if you’ve told your friends many times about finding someone and it didn’t work out. Be proud of yourself for having the bravery of taking the risk to love.
It’s okay to be excited about finding someone, but pray aggressively every step of the way.
May you be led by the spirit rather than flesh. That way, you wont be misguided by lust and pleasure; nor will you get caught up or blinded in the excitement.
When you seek God, He will answer you. He will let you know if a person is for you or not. He will give you signs.
Often, I’ve known deep down that a person was not for me but due to not wanting to be alone, I made excuses. I even tried to tell God before that He was wrong and convince myself into believing someone was for me because having someone around felt better than being alone even if that person didn’t align with my standards or values. That alone was my first sign that the relationship was never going to last. When we are with someone simply because we aren’t content with being alone and ignore the fact that we know the person isn’t right for us—we are the reason the relationship will ultimately fail. Because we know better but proceed anyway.
Don’t settle for just any love because it’s available. Often what’s available is available because it’s easy to come by.
Don’t beat yourself up because another relationship didn’t work out, breathe, pray, and take the wisdom. Be proud that you posses the bravery to love.
Jesus Christ Changed My Life because He aligns my future. He has good things predestined for me.
Dear God,May you help me to trust You. May I trust that you have someone for me. May in my time of waiting, may you teach me patience. May you mend me and mold me so I can be prepared. May I heal from old trauma and heartbreak. May I find peace and solace in walking alone until you unite me with the person I’m aligned to be with. May I have the wisdom to call on to you for guidance and confirmation about what is for me. May I not get ahead of you and settle for what is available. May I wait for your best. May I find completion in You before I find it in a person. Teach me God, how to hear from you and obey your guidance. In your precious name I pray,Amen.