I Am Not My Generational Curse

“My mom did it to me and I turned out fine, you’ll be fine!”

Let me explain something, just because your mom, dad, grandparent, or whoever else, did something to you does not make it right.

We live in a world where destructive and constructive is misconstrued.

This topic has been laying on my heart for quite some time now because it seems every where I go I see this in families, including mine. In fact, I see it so much that I’ve recognized we have unconsciously grown numb to it.

Generational curses.

They. Are. Real. 

Let me explain what a generational curse is:

A generational curse is a set of destructive behaviors or habits that is passed down from one generation to the next. As a result, each generation share the same curse.

It is absolutely imperative that we are aware of generational curses in order to break cycles of abuse that keep our families in bondage.

I was at work, and I was having a talk with one of my co-workers. She explained how her mother is a drug addict and revealed to me some memories from her childhood of her mother. They were rather scarring.

My co-worker now has a daughter of her own and confessed to me that she just never wants to do the things her mother did to her. She also said she just wants to give her daughter what she never had.

When I had this talk with her, I knew I needed to do this post. I don’t think we realize how bad people are hurting and how bad people need healing.

I didn’t realize how real generational curses were until I got older, actually until this year. I come from a very loving family who will give you the clothes off their back. We will feed you, love on you, and make you a family member.

But my family also has generational curses.

I had to pray hard to God that one of the generational curses in my family stopped with me. I told God, “I want to be the one in my family to break this.” 

In that moment, I recognized the seriousness of generational curses, and told God I didn’t want to be this way.

Ever heard the saying, “We are a product of our environment?”

Well…. you had to develop that ideology from somewhere and whether your childhood memories were good or bad, they had an affect on you so much that you can point out, ” I don’t want to be like this, or I don’t want to do the things I’ve seen growing up”

I think the number one thing we need to understand is: Abuse and destructiveness is not solely physical abuse. If we have no physical bruises or scars it didn’t do anything to us right?

Absolutely not.

Internal wounds can be much more damaging than physical ones.

Too often we brush off mental abuse and mentally unstable behavior simply because we are “use to them” or because that’s all we ever knew because it’s how we were raised.

It’s important to understand our language sets the tone of who we are.

Yes, how we speak to each other is a product of how we will speak to others and who we will be.

We can speak life to one another or curses to one another.

How people talk to you is everything.

If you come from a family where apologizing is nonexistent, family members say hurtful things often, premarital sex is regular,  pornography addiction exists,  low self-esteem is present, promiscuity, alcoholism, physical or mental abuse, manipulation, or shaming exists, it is so vital to recognize all these things with your spiritual lens and call them out for what they truly are. These habits are silent sin.

Don’t excuse these behaviors by saying, “Oh that’s just my family, that’s just what we/they do.”

You don’t have to be a product of how you were raised. You hold that decision.

What does the Bible say about generational curses?

A lot.

Generational curses are mentioned numerous of times in the Bible. One verse in particular says,

“I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected– even children in the third and fourth generation.” -Exodus 5:20

When I first read this, I was like, woah, God? That’s harsh. Why am I punished for the sins of my parents? 

I dug deeper. It wasn’t simply that God was so angry with our parents that He wanted to punish their kids too.

But rather this verse right here is pure demonstration of how powerful the effect of generational curses are. When we decide to engage in sin, our decision affects our children and family. This is why we see destructive habits passed down from one generation to the next because that’s how powerful the effect of sin is.

Sin doesn’t just affect us. It affects everyone around us. What we make a habit becomes a lifestyle and when you bring children into this world, you expose them to your same habits. Which is why, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” comes into hand.

Sin and generational curses are that powerful. It’s not that God wants to punish the children because of their parents; it’s the fact that God knows we subconsciously pass it down to one another when we decide to partake in sin.

Unconsciously, we start doing the same things we observed growing up.

But you aren’t fine.

You just have grown comfortable to dysfunctional rituals. You’re numb to the generational curse.

Some of the language in my family is toxic and abusive. It is a product of what has been passed down from previous generations.

It takes a lot to admit when you’re doing some of the things that you may once said you’ll never do, but admitting it is the best thing you could ever do.

I think too often we are too hush about dysfunction within our families. We are too afraid of admitting we have a problem and attempt to cover it up with, “That’s just how I was raised.” Or we are too embarrassed to talk about it so we just keep the curse alive.

It is so important to have the wisdom to call out dysfunction for what it is or it will forever be passed down to one another.

I have a friend who’s parents don’t say, “I love you,” and as a result, my friend doesn’t say it and shows very little affection. I’ve observed she lacks a love that she’s searched for from her parents.This is a generational curse because her parents were raised by a family that lacked expressing love and as a result, it was passed down to her parents, and now to my friend. Do we see how quickly that passed down?

It’s so important to recognize generational curses through our spiritual lens and ask God to intercede to break these chains. Tell God, you recognize the abnormality and hurt, and you don’t want to be the one to prolong it.

The way to break generational curses is through God. It takes Prayer and God’s intercession. It also requires you recognizing the curse and no longer choosing to be mute to it. And finally, it requires your diligence, faith and obedience to God to break it.

I asked God, “God use me.” I told God I want to be the one in my family that breaks generational curses. Without realizing it, I took a look at my life and some of the battles I was fighting and God revealed to me, “You’re the one going through all this because you’re the one that has seen it through your spiritual lens and asked me to break it.” In order to to be used by God, you have to go through the rain, the fire, and the whole storm to get to that other side. Some people stop in the storm and let the storm steal their destiny. Nothing can be broken without facing destruction and calling it out. Satan, you don’t win. For every tear, every fall, I gain more armor and strength.

“For she is clothed with dignity and strength, she can laugh at the days to come.” -Proverbs 31:25

JesusChristChangedMyLife because through Him, I don’t have to be who I once I was.