I found me at 27.

This year, has been my best year yet. Not solely for anything that has to do with monetary gain, career development, or because I’ve found the love of my life, it’s neither of those three—I found me this year. It sounds so cheesy and cliche, I know. But this year I’ve discovered myself in a way that I feel I’ve always wanted to find and become. I realized this year, I’m at a place for the first time in my life I can wholeheartedly say I love me. I absolutely love me. I can’t take the credit for this though. I’ve discerned that I’ve fallen in love with God all over again and have attained a relationship with Him on a level that I’ve never been before. 

I don’t have some secret formula to how to love yourself and I didn’t follow any guidebook. I’ll be honest, I started reading my Bible wholeheartedly. I transparently admit that I haven’t read the entire Bible from beginning to end. I often would read certain segments and scriptures but I had never fully read or studied each book within the Bible from beginning to end except for the book of Proverbs. It wasn’t until last year, in December, I started a Bible Challenge to read the entire book of Matthew. When I started this challenge on Instagram, honestly, I didn’t know how much it was going to affect me personally and so deeply. I mean, I was literally crying boo hoo tears as I was reading the book of Matthew.

There were certain scriptures I recognized and had seen quoted several times in my life; but to read the the entire book from page to page, beginning to end—I wept like a baby many nights. There were many times I became so overwhelmed with The Holy Spirit that it made me weak. Prior to reading the entire book of Matthew, I thought I knew the depth of Jesus’s love, but reading His story in detail and studying his actions, wisdom, decisions, absolutely made me ball my eyes out. If ever you want to discover the depths of God’s heart and mercy, read your Bible wholeheartedly. I’m not talking about googling a scripture for certain emotions and then reading one or two verses. There’s nothing wrong with reading one or two scriptures, but to really dive in and study The Word in its whole context, takes you to a different level of finding Christ. Not only did I find Christ in a deeper way, as I fell more in love with Jesus, I started to really love myself because I come from Him. 

I started to love myself from reading and analyzing how much God is love. The book of Matthew was filled with so much wisdom and love; I discovered that the stories in the Bible had all the answers to the problems I was facing in my own life. I realized I had never fully grasped the capacity of my Creator—God, which made me realize no wonder I had never really loved myself. The root of me was rooted in Christ’s love for me. Because I failed to fully see the depths of who God is, I failed to see myself as why I was worthy of loving myself. From reading my Bible, I’ve discovered God is so much more than being good because of what He gives me, God is good because of who He is. He’s the only One that knows every soul and living thing. He’s the only one that can control the winds. He’s the first one who demonstrated what love is.  

How Reading the Bible has led me to Finding Myself

• Starting to read the Bible wholeheartedly gave me the strength to walk away from a relationship this year that I felt I had an ungodly soul tie to for years. 
• Reading the Bible wholeheartedly opened my eyes up to understanding why I’m worthy of loving myself. 
• Reading my Bible wholeheartedly taught me my faith in God will always be the key to anything. 
• Since reading my bible, simultaneously, I started eating better and being mindful of taking care of myself better physically and emotionally. I genuinely love me now and because of that love, I’m mindful of what I allow my body to consume because I want to look and feel my best because I’ve reallized I am worthy of that. 
• I started to realize that there was no reason I needed to settle ever again for a man that God didn’t assign to be my husband.
• I believe God has my husband for me who he made just for me. Why? Because I know if God put it in my heart, it’s up to me to place my faith in God that He will grant me the desires of my heart just like he did for Daniel, Noah, Lea, Joseph, Rachel, Abraham, and the many other people in the Bible God took care of and fulfilled His promises to them.
• Reading the stories in the Bible strengthened my faith and confirmed that God will do the same for me as He did for the ones in the Bible.
• I started applying the Bible stories as lessons to use in my own life and circumstances.  
• From reading the stories in the Bible, I stoped doubting so much about my current circumstances and instead started to trust that God has divine purpose for every season I’m in. 
• I started asking myself, what is God doing in this current circumstance and what does He have for me to learn? 
• I stopped being so anxious and waiting for my fairytale life to begin; I started embracing the present and thanking God for all the good I currently have.
• I realized my life is filled with fairytale moments happening right now and it’s up to me to embrace what God has blessed me with currently.

Every month, JCCML hosts a Bible Reading Challenge with a reading plan to follow to help you read an entire book of the Bible within the month. So far we’ve read Matthew, Genesis, and Job. This month for the month of March, we are studying some of the impactful women in the Bible. Click here for this reading plan.

I didn’t expect reading the Bible thoroughly to impact my life so much. Truly, this has been the one tool that has helped me understand faith and the core of who God is. Through that, I’ve found how to love myself and cherish my life and own journey. 

Click here to visit my blog to find the previous Bible Reading Challenges we’ve done. It’s not too late to start these challenges at any time in your life.

Wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too. 
-Matthew 23:26

Until next time, friend!

xoxo,

-Padriana