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My Vows to God.

Even when my sin

tried to tear us apart,

Even when I chose 

my sin over You


You kept Your eyes 

on my wandered soul

The barriers I put between us 

out of my own impatience

to wait on You 

Though I knew,

You had what was meant for me

it was me

who grew tired

of waiting on You

lonelinesses embrace overtook, 

and I looked 

to my flesh 

to eradicate the hole of being alone 

though I knew

it wasn’t Your best

I accepted it 


negotiated it as better than 

being alone.

I yearned 

for something


some form of love,

Even if it meant not from You

despite if it was



and not really love at all,

I pretended it was 

because the wait grew too great 

because I grew tired 

tired of waiting 

waiting for Your best 

what if Your best was none saved for me?

so I partnered with my flesh 

and broke up with You

Because the wait 

no longer seemed 

as something once worth waiting for

even when I pushed 

Your love away,

tossed it 

as second best 

But isn’t it just like You?

To still embrace me 

when I dismissed and dismayed You

You poetically  

whispered to my wounds

And gave them a name 

You told them “beauty and rebirth

I’ll name of you 

To me You spoke:

“What broke you,

couldn’t nearly break all that I would make of you”

because even though 

I signed the divorce 

You never signed it back 

So even though 

I was done with You

You weren’t done with me.

You sweetly remind me 

that in You 

I’ll always have a home

You majestically 

whisper to my bruises

that I am healed. 

You soothingly held me 

when my body wept 

You spoke life unto my spirit


You always rebirth 

my faith and and my purpose

when it is aborted.

When the world uses me 

and rejects me, 

you soothingly remind me 

the world could never use me 

the way You can. 


You have shown

You will always wrap me back up 

and mend every wound

When I was broken, 

You patiently,

rebuilt and restored me 

with more than I had ever lost.

When I didn’t always love You

You fought for me through and through

You pleaded my case.

I could never repay You fully, 

but I’ll take this life You’ve given me 

and tell Your world about You

as long as I’m here. 

I’ll live for You 

because You saved me. 

Thank You

for loving me 

and showing me 

the epitome 

of unconditional, 

authentic love. 

And so 

I know,

I’ve failed and failed again 

and may very well

fail again

But I vow to You

I’ll wait, 

I’ll wait, 

I’ll wait 

I’ll always find my way back to You.

For I have seen 

the other side 

Life apart from You, 

I have felt the cold harsh reality 

Life apart from You, 

So I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait 

I’ll wait on You. 

My vow to You.

My sweet, sweet, Jehovah Jireh.

-Padriana Grace

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